Dear Flying Partner,
It's with a heavy heart to inform you that former Air Wisconsin Flight Attendant Guy Adams has passes away. Guy was very respected by his co-workers.
Please remember that the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is here for all flight attendants. All calls are 100% confidential. Please contact your local rep for assistance.
Council 03: Lisa Hopkins 731-234-5438
Council 28: Yvonne Morris 202-758-8992
Council 29: Maura Warfield 757-513-1232
We have included a handout from EAP that might be helpful to you.
FACING SUDDEN LOSS
Of all the experiences we confront in life, the toughest to face is the sudden, unexpected loss of someone we love.Loss in itself is painful enough, but sudden loss is shocking. The shock doubles our pain and intensifies our grief. Even if on some level we understand that no one lives forever, actually losing people we love is unimaginable. When we know someone we love has a fatal disease or when we have nursed a loved one who is very ill, we have a chance to begin to prepare for their loss -- at least a little. However, the unexpected death of a loved one (regardless of how that loved one dies) can leave us stunned, lost, and overwhelmed with pain. We may not know where to begin to cope.
Sudden loss gives us no chance to prepare. It is not unusual that we feel cheated by a sudden death, cheated of a chance to say the last words we would have liked to say or to do some last act that would have had meaning to us like a hug, a kiss, a walk hand in hand. Missing out from having a way of saying some kind of good-bye can leave us feeling especially bereft for weeks or even months. Feeling cheated in this way can add to our grief, anguish and despair. Besides our feeling cheated by it, sudden loss can make the world feel shaky or less safe. This is a natural response to any unexpected and traumatic event. When we feel as if someone we love is suddenly yanked out of our lives, we are left feeling that the world isn’t a safe place. We may then become fearful and uncertain, or angry and frustrated. This loss can negatively color our view of life, but hopefully only temporarily.
When we face a sudden loss, all at once we have three overwhelming tasks to deal with: Our grief over the loss of our loved one, the absence of this special person from our daily lives, and the changes in our lives that are caused by this loss. Each is a big task to take on, and each will become a part of our mourning and healing process. Although it may be hard to imagine at the moment, we must remember most will ultimately move through this terrible pain and begin to heal.
It helps to bear in mind that emotional pain isn’t constant, and that we don’t have to grieve forever. We will love forever, whether our loved ones are with us in body or not, but we do not need to grieve to honor that love. We can just love.
People who have suffered sudden loss have taught us several important, possibly universal, ways to help heal:
Do your mourning now. Being strong and brave is important, but never miss an opportunity to cry. That is not self-indulgent, but simply sensible and honest in dealing with your emotions.
Take special care of yourself through your grief. One way to do this is by surrounding yourself with support. Your AFA EAP is one resource available to you.
Erin, Barbara, Maura